PHP: The language that started as a simple scripting tool and somehow became the Frankenstein of the web. It's like the duct tape of programming languages.
If PHP was a person, it would be that uncle who tells the same bad joke at every family gathering and somehow still gets laughs.
PHP's type system is so loose, it could probably catch a fish with its bare hands.
Why write clean code when you can write PHP? Said no one ever, but somehow millions do.
PHP: Where "Hello World" can turn into a spaghetti monster in 10 lines or less.
PHP developers have a special bond: they understand pain and perseverance.
PHP's error messages are like fortune cookies: cryptic and often misleading.
Using PHP is like riding a bike with square wheels. It gets you there, but not without a lot of bumps.
PHP: The language that taught us all to sanitize inputs... or else.
If PHP had a motto, it would be "It works... somehow."
Why do PHP developers wear glasses? Because they can’t C#.
Why did the PHP developer quit his job? He didn’t get arrays.
Why do PHP developers always have to check their emails? Because they might have a PHP parser error.
Why did the PHP developer go broke? He used all his $GLOBALS.
PHP is like that horror movie villain who just won't die no matter how many times you stab it. For three decades, tech bros have been writing PHP's obituary while frantically recommending whatever shiny framework just dropped that week.
PHP: the only language where a missing semicolon can lead to an existential crisis.
Why do PHP developers hate nature? Because they're allergic to trees (arrays).
PHP function names: sometimes they start with "str", sometimes with "array", sometimes with existential dread.
PHP – the language everyone loves to roast but secretly still uses. It's like that old car that makes weird noises but somehow gets you to work every day.
No matter how many frameworks you learn, you’re always one WordPress update away from debugging raw PHP.
TypeScript: JavaScript's overachieving sibling who insists on doing homework before playing.
TypeScript's type system is like a strict parent: always watching, always judging.
Why write JavaScript when you can write TypeScript and get twice the errors?
TypeScript: Because sometimes you want to catch bugs before you even write the code.
TypeScript developers love to argue about types more than actual features.
TypeScript: Making JavaScript feel insecure since 2012.
If TypeScript was a person, it would be the kid who corrects your grammar mid-sentence.
TypeScript's strictness is both a blessing and a curse. Like a helicopter parent for your code.
TypeScript: Because JavaScript needed a safety net... and a lecture.
TypeScript developers secretly enjoy the pain of type errors. It's like a badge of honor.
Why did the TypeScript developer become a stand-up comedian? They were great at type casting!
Why do TypeScript developers love going to the beach? They're always looking for new types of sand!
Why was the TypeScript developer's code so clean? They always used lint!
Why did the TypeScript developer go to therapy? They had unresolved promises!
What's a TypeScript developer's favorite dance? The type-step!
How do TypeScript developers stay in shape? They do type yoga!
Why did the TypeScript developer get a job at the bakery? They were great at handling dough types!
Why did the TypeScript developer go broke? They invested in the wrong type of stocks!
Why was the TypeScript developer always late to work? They were stuck in a type loop!
How do TypeScript developers enjoy their coffee? With a strong type!
"Why use PHP or TypeScript when Ruby on Rails does everything in one line? Just run rails new and your app is done!"
Ruby on Rails: for the dev who thinks scaffolding is a substitute for actual coding.
The Rails newbie: “I don’t need to learn SQL, Rails migrations do it for me!”
Why did the Rails dev throw away his calendar? Because he believed in the Timeless gem.
Rails: Because why understand the stack when you can just run rails generate everything?
The Rails enthusiast: “Testing? Isn’t that what the community is for?”
Why do Rails devs always carry a spare tire? Because they always DRY up their code.
Why did the Rails developer go to therapy? Too many unresolved dependencies.
Why do Rails developers make terrible comedians? They keep repeating the same punchline until it's DRY.
Why did the developer break up with Ruby on Rails? Their relationship had too many validations.
Rails: For when you want to feel like a 10x developer with 1x the knowledge.
PHP might be messy, but at least it gets the job done without a PhD in types.
TypeScript might be strict, but it saves you from the chaos of JavaScript's wild west.
Without PHP, half the web would be a lot less interesting (and a lot less broken).
TypeScript: Because sometimes you need a little order in the madness.
PHP and TypeScript: Proof that you can love and hate a language at the same time.
At least PHP and TypeScript developers can agree on one thing: Rails devs won’t stop telling you how fast they built their last CRUD app.
Rails: Great for rapid prototyping, even better for rapid bug discovery.